Wednesday, January 07, 2004
blinding lights of peppermint

So here it is the new year.  Its been awhile since I've written. 
Been busy trying to get my life together. Trying to figure out what I what to be when I go up.

Theres to much to worry about.  Family, work, children, friends.  Trying to weigh the time so that eveyone gets there share.  Because to each their time is the most important.

Then with whatever you have left over you try and regain your composer.
In sort of a calm depression. A sense of hopelessness the just makes you want to go to sleep.
Then while stopped at a red light you look over and try to read the sign of one of the business.
Finally realizing that the sign is upside down.
You don't know.
And then everything is okay.

Continuing on.

Four years, until the decesion that will change the immediate life.
To the day.

Just in case I ever forget.

Posted at 06:30 pm by fatelikeacrow

Saturday, October 25, 2003
silver pills to ease the pain

I'm having a week. I had a doctors appointment on tuesday for pain in my knees. They took a couple of x-rays, did some lab work and gave me pain pills. IB 800s. I have to go back for a follow up in about four weeks. Supposedly I have arthitis. Not even twenty and I might have arthritis. Then, I had a dentis appointment yesterday. I walk into the dentist room sit in the chair. The dentist walks in tells me open up and then says that I have to have to wisdom teeth removed. So within fifteen minutes I'm scheduled to have oral surgery. I had another dentist appointment today where I walked in and walked out an hour later with three fillings and the right side of my face numb. Thats was a trip.

Everywhere I went no one could understand what the hell I was saying. It was like I was in a foreign country.

Got an email from a friend I haven't heard from in about six months. Supposed to call her tommorow. We'll see what happens. I best friend called me today while I was sleeping. My wife brought in the phone and I guess I talked to him for like twenty minutes. He was like do you eve nknow who this is? Then I came back to reality. I don't even know what we talked about. Supposed to call him tommorow when he gets off work. Whenever that is.

Posted at 10:10 am by fatelikeacrow

Sunday, October 19, 2003
dreams long since broken

Todays is my last day at work. Last day of the week any way. Things are going alittle better since yesterday. Work hasn't been to bad considering today is a Sunday. Things were pretty crazy this morning when I left though.

My mom came out today. She arrived just a couple of hours ago. About an hour after I left for work. My little brother lost a tooth brushing his teeth. In my house, thats pretty cool. When I get home there all going to be up ready for the day and I'm going to be ready to go to bed. Looks like I'm going to pull an all day-er. Its going to be interesting trying to find something to do on a Sunday. I think my Moms going to go to the mall and spend my fathers hard earned money. Maybe I can get in on some of that.

I need to call Monday and cancel my credit card. Only one more to go. I also need to call the bank and see how my computer loan is coming. I start school next week. Its going to be hard without a computer. The computer lab is on the other side of town. It would be a loan payment in gas to drive that far everytime I need to write something up. Plus with my wife starting in Spring its going to be a hassle. Hopefully though they'll take petty no me, but not likely.

Plus the expansion for planetside is coming out this month. I can't wait. I'm having planetside withdrawls anyway. I need some PVP action. Death and destruction. The joys and sorrows of battle. And then the very relaxing, spiritually enlightening, uo. It would be nice to relieve some stress.

I bought the sims for my xbox the other day. Rocking it. Its not very hard though, just kind of relaxing, easy and quaint.

I need to buy books on Monday and change my tuition to in state. I'll do that after my doctors appointment. And after my mom leaves.


Posted at 10:00 am by fatelikeacrow

Saturday, October 18, 2003
death by a thousand needles

Today I had to do laundry. Two weeks of build up, it tooks me four hours to get it all done. Pain staking four hours. Got home went to bed. The wife said that when she got home she would do the dishes and put away the dishes. I woke up after three hours of sleep to find that my wife laying on the couch watching tv. No dishes, clothes everywhere. I was done. Just stick me.

Posted at 09:42 am by fatelikeacrow

Thursday, October 16, 2003
27 cylinders of pain

Again, here I am. Writing about my life like someone cares. I took the placement test. Placed in the highest english class and reading courses, and in the lowest math course. Apparently if you don't know pre algebra you don't know math. So for everyone out there who hasn't taken a pre algerba class in six years your doomed.

Registered for ENG Comp I and Masterpieces of LIT. Yeah. English has never been my strong point. It was my lowest grade in high school. Apparently I'm good at it though.

Looked into transfering to a university. Its not that hard after all. It's actually easier than finishing an AS. It just takes longer. A couple years longer. No matter though its not like I have any thing better to do. Bring on the education. Hopefully I can get out this sh** hole.

Sometimes its frustrating when the easiest thing doesn't make sense. When someone who has never even thought about looks at it and it makes total sense and here I am struggling in the dark. I guess it happens sometimes. More often to some than others.


Posted at 09:07 am by fatelikeacrow

Sunday, October 12, 2003
Placement in life

I'm sitting here trying to remember how to do college algebra. Its been four years since I really used this stuff. So far I've been at it for three hours and I've gotten through one question of pre, basic, college, and geometry. The trig has me stumped. Oh well I have another five hours to figure it out. It picked up one of those College everything math review books hopefully it can help me. 

Wife worked all day today. Didn't get out of bed until five, felt good to sleep all day. Other than that not much going on.

Thinking about getting of computer of my own next month. It's funny how a computer and the internet will give me more productivity during the day. Something to do. I can learn, relieve stress, communicate, ect. The possibilities are all most endless. Can't wait to piss some people off in PlanetSide. Nothing better then a little aggrivation now and then. Can't say I've never been aggrivated. I can see it now. Death and destuction. I've been away to long. Maybe I'll get one sooner than that.

I need to call my Mom. She's supposes to be coming out next week. We'll see. It wouldn't be the first time she cancelled on me. I should call my best friend to I thought about it but didn't for some reason. I don't know why I didn't. Lazy, that seems to be a real problem for me. I should start making lists for myself. Maybe that will help.

1. Take out the trash.
2. Clean the kitchen. (Stove and floor need some work)
3. Clean the Living Room.
4. Get laundry ready.
5. Clean and staighten Bed Room.
6. Organized Second Bed Room. (Make space for Computer Desk)
7. If time clean out and wash car.

There I think that will help. Keep me focused. I think I'll listen to Bush while preforming my tasked. Motivation.

I almost forgot.

8. Study for Placement Test.

Well thats it.


Posted at 08:46 am by fatelikeacrow

Saturday, October 11, 2003
twenty promises to yourself

So here I am. I told myself that before I was twenty that I would try and keep some account of the thoughts and ideas of everyday. I tried this once when I was twelve writing everything down in a journal. I'd skip a day, then two days. So on and so on. I wasn't really very good at it. Trying to write to the journal like it was an extension of myself. Dear Journal. Right.

Hopefully I'll be alittle better with this.

I started this so that it would be easier to keep in touch with my friends just something to let them know how I am seeing as how I never call. I can't even write an email.

Not much every goes on. Work is slow. I spend most of my time flipping through the channels on the tv. Hoping that I might find something interesting or insperational. Instead all I find are news debates on the war in Iraq. How many protests can we do today. What else can I find wrong with the world. I have nothing better to do with my time so I'll force my interests and opinions on to some poor third world country who would be better off living there lives uninterupted. But no. That is the american way.

I went to register for class today at the local community college. Because I'm to lazy to order tanscripts I have take a placement test. It will be interesting to see how that turns out. I started studying today, some practice material I got from the web. Good-luck.

Flipping through the channels again. There are some shows that go without expanation. The things people do. I wonder what we could accomplish with all the time we spend watching tv. If everyone found something constructive to do. But then again the people creating the shows, producing, directing, writing, building sets, editing, makeup, wardrobe, there all doing something constructive. Without your average american couch potatoe all of them wouldn't have anything to do. Its a catch-22. Round and round, where it stops nobody knows. Here I am, trying to find something constructive to do, so that all of the people out there who spend their time searching for and reading blogs will have something to do.


Posted at 08:13 am by fatelikeacrow

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